Do you ever feel like you are just moving from one task to the next, without feeling like you are doing the things that really matter to you?
When we have a busy schedule, with lots of conflicting priorities, it can be hard to find the time and headspace to think about ourselves. Often it may seem as though everything, and everyone, else in our lives gets more attention than we do. We need to make sure we clean the house, do the grocery shopping, go to work, pick our children up from school, etc.
Although these tasks take up a lot of our time and energy, they do not define who we are as individuals. Underneath the roles we play and the responsibilities we have, there is a person with a set of values, who has their own feelings, wants and needs.
Thinking about values…
Values are the core principles and beliefs you have which guide how you live, the decisions you make, and how you treat others. Your values will have been shaped by the culture you live in, your family background, and your life experiences. They might include kindness, honesty, creativity, integrity, independence, resilience, freedom, wellbeing, family… Getting in touch with your values can provide you with a kind of internal compass, which you can use to ensure you are living a life that aligns with what really matters to you.
I have an interest in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and it is one theory I call upon in counselling sessions. When it comes to values, this approach to therapy suggests that being in touch with your values can help you to navigate your way through difficult situations, when faced with a dilemma it can help you to make choices which align with who you really are, and it can give your life more meaning.
How do I know whether I am living a life that aligns with my values?
Something you can explore in counselling, is what your values are, and how you demonstrate them in your day to day life. It might be that this is something you do as a matter of course, or it might be that you notice that your way of life doesn’t really align with what your values are. For example, one of your values could be creativity, yet when you look at your day to day life, there isn’t anything creative happening. So, in counselling we might look at how you could make space for creativity. Or, one of your values could be around spending time with family, and yet your job is so demanding that you often have to work long hours, and are so tired when you get home that you don’t have the energy to engage with your partner or children. We might look at ways in which you can restore some balance between work and home life.
Why does this matter?
If you live a life which doesn’t align with your values, over time it can negatively affect your wellbeing. It is perhaps unsurprising that if you spend your time doing things you have to do, with no room to do the things which matter most to you, and which make you feel good, over time you may begin to feel stressed, burnt out, anxious and low in mood. Knowing what your values are, understanding what brings meaning to your life, and identifying small steps you can take to incorporate them into your life, can be very powerful in terms of improving your sense of wellbeing and happiness.
If you’re interested in finding out more about your values and how getting in touch with them could help improve your wellbeing, please feel free to schedule a call with me and I’ll explain how we can do this work together in counselling sessions.